The Weather Always Seems to Kind of Suck in Montreal

There’s something undeniably cruel about spending nearly a month suffering on and off from random late-Spring / early-Summer allergies only to come down with a cold the moment you finally expect to start being able to wake up without feeling like there’s a brick in your head and a cactus in your throat.

However, Summers have always been cruel in Montreal, without exception. Only this year, it’s become a different sort of cruel, one that I don’t think anyone would have expected after the 40 degree sweatfest jungle monsoon weather last year showered us with. I could have sworn I was living in Rangoon, not one of the stereotypically cold Northern cities of the world. Maybe that’s why things have seemingly changed this summer, the city’s decided to take back its frosty image.

Sure we’ve had some of those ridiculous, too-hot-I-want-to-die days here, but they’ve become the exception in the face of the early morning chills that seem to happily drift into my room and prevent me from wanting to wake up before 10AM because its too damn cold to get out of bed. Who would have thought I’d be wearing jeans and a sweater, sitting at my computer with the windows closed in June. Well, other than those Americans who think we all live in Igloos that is. You’d think the internet might have done something to dispel those rumours by now…

If Montreal is consistent with one thing, it’s that the weather always seems to kind of suck no matter the season. Even my much cherished late-Summer and early-Autumn, which is quite frankly how it feels right now, is often grayed by weeks of ceaseless, unending rain showers. Not the summer monsoon kind that we’ve come to know, where water flies horizontally at sharp angles underneath umbrellas and directly into the eyes of every man, woman and child dumb enough to be caught outdoors at any moment of the day, but rather the cold, drowning rain that alcohols bemuse and bad detective fiction revolves around.

Hell, even winter has lost its way. Gone are the -40s of our youth where cars dies of isolation and snow found its way into everything for three months straight. By my count, the previous winter only really lasted about three weeks before we had an early, wet, ugly spring that went on for four months before summer made a surprise entrance to the party. Remarkably, we still managed to get more snow in the those three weeks than we normally used to get in three months. It’s like winter is giving it it’s all and then peacing out to the tropics where things somehow such less, or so they tell me.