It’s a fact. The most annoying ads currently on YouTube belong to Shawn Mendes.
Until they started playing, I might have been peripherally aware of him, in the same way I was somehow aware of the existence of the Jonas Brothers and that red-headed guy named Ed.
However, while I was willing to let those gents play their music in the periphery of my awareness, at malls, in washrooms, or wherever else they’re on the air, this guy is different.
I’ve learned to hate this guy.
No, scratch that. Learning suggests volition. This was out of my hands.
I’m been indoctrinated to hate him.
Well, I’m going to say 3/5th of the time an advertisement plays on YouTube, it’s one for this guy.
Considering I listen to music a good four or five hours at work each day, and I get an add like every five minutes… there’s a good chance I see his ad 30-40 times a day.
It doesn’t matter how many times I thumbs down it, skip it as soon as it loads, or event block his page, his ads keep playing.
You’d think that YouTube’s advertising algorithms would cut me some slack.
After all, the purpose of ads is to make money and gets clicks, right? Not ostracize the audience and turn them into vendetta-hungry enemies?
What is even the purpose of playing his ads (and forcing us to listen to clips of his music) when we CLEARLY are listening to other genres.
Listening to a Massive Attack playlist? Here, have a dose of some teenager boy singing about heartbreak.
Tuned in to some electro-jazz cafe and looking to unwind? Time to hear some guitar punk scream about what’s in his blood.
Do you like literally any genre of music and dislike teeny pop singers? Well, here’s one you’re REALLY going to hate.
And if you don’t hate him yet, then you’ll learn to hate him soon.
And hate him I will.
I mean, what’s the purpose of hearing some kid rattle about his passion for writing teenage heartbreak songs over and over again? Certainly not for his wisdom or “clever” comments.
I won’t even list them. All you need to know is that his interview clips are about 50% dumber than pre-game interviews on Hockey Night in Canada.
Hell, I’d pay to hear some pre-game talk about creating good opportunities and getting out there with our all, rather than listen to him tell me he’s getting emotional about being famous.
Fuck that guy. Seriously.
My only conclusions is that Shawn Mendes’ marketing team one day found themselves with assloads of cash. Maybe they deliberated between lighting it on fire and annoying every single YouTube user.
They chose the latter.
Maybe they’re the real criminals.